My fifteen and one half year old step son, Jared, has just acquired his drivers permit.  For those of you who have been “blessed” with this process, congratulations! For those of you who have not, steel yourself.  For me, and I would assume for most parents, it’s a mixture of pride and gut wrenching fear.  While it is a moment of recognition that he has entered a more mature and independent phase of his life, it also is an admission that he is about to enter a world fraught with far more risk.  Even more disabling to me is that we cannot physically protect him from all errors of the road.  But what we can do is share our experiences and knowledge with him about driving with the hope that it finds a receptive home.  It’s impossible to have this conversation, at least for us, without bringing into the discussion the subject of alcohol.

My wife, step-son and I have dinner together nearly every night.  On many of those evenings we have wine on the table.  That has been the case now for several years.  Over that period of time, I’ve noticed that Jared has become progressively educated about wine.  He understands not only the basic ritual of decanting, observing, smelling and tasting the wine but through “osmosis” has absorbed some of the terminology (a feat in that adolescents only seem to have an attention span measured in seconds).  While his “nose” has not yet matured and it struggles with scent numbing allergies especially this time of year, he has potential.  But perhaps the single most important discussion we have revolves around the reality that consuming alcohol, of any type, is illegal and off limits until the age of 21.  We discuss that wine is not meant to be a mind and behavior altering substance, especially when consumed in excess, but rather a beverage that is at its best when paired with food.  If consumed unattended by food, he understands why it must be rationed.  He is also aware of the tragic consequences of excess alcohol consumption (see All In This Together blog).  To my relief, these discussions have found a receptive ear, our conversations often opening the door to further questions.

Clearly, this is a very delicate topic of discussion.  Unlike past generations where so many of life’s subjects, including alcohol, were off limits to discussion, everything is there for the taking today. While discussing alcohol consumption may be uncomfortable, I would argue that on the whole, it offers many more advantages than disadvantages to our children.  This generation, living in an open society, is searching for honest answers.  If we, as their parents, do not oblige, they will search for it elsewhere.  The risk, of course, is that the answers may be misguided and with tragic results.

We may not be capable of deflecting every risk to our children.  But if through forthright and honest discussions, we can prevent tragedy, then in my eyes, it has all been worthwhile.  Let me know how you deal with this sensitive issue………    

Popularity: 1% [?]

Tags: alcohol, alcohol consumption